The leader of the musical group Larry Fingers and Spike. He is the Captain to Spike's Tenille. Larry plays piano, but never speaks, or even moves very much. At first he may seem like an innocuous musician, but Larry has a complex and sordid past (from which he has thus far emerged unscathed) which is always resurfacing to drag him down. A former CIA operative, Larry has also been a major player in the Mafia, the Klan, several occult groups, and the American Militia movement. And he might know the secret of the Bermuda Triangle. But he's not sayin'.
Scheherazade "Spike" Snodgrass
Larry's partner (and eventual love interest) is a foul mouthed, cigar-smoking curmudgeon, who sings with the voice of an angel, which is all she wants to be. For though she is worldly, she is naive. And despite being an ex-prostitute and a double-murderer, the company Larry keeps always makes Spike seem comparatively virginal. She is very ambitious when it comes to their music, however, for she desperately wants to be a star. And she'll kill (again) to have her dream.
Neurotic night nurse Helga Torvald, seems to have the worst luck. Her husband is murdered horribly, and she is constantly stalked by killers and madmen. And someone's made off with her family jewel's. And what's worse, poor thing, she has never experienced the petit mort. No, when Helga is in the throes of passion she experiences the grand mort - leaving her satisfied, but comatose for 30-40 minutes. And when she wakes, all hell has broken loose. Maybe Helga's predicament would make sense to her if she knew that besides being a hapless housewife, she is also a 2000 year old lycanthrope. Helga harbors an obsessive infatuation for Larry Fingers, the man who ruined her and cast her aside.
Dick Piston, Hotel Detective
Dick has been working on an erotic novel for six years, but he can never get past the first page. But when a hideous murder takes place in Dick's own hotel, he is drawn into a sensual maelstrom which simultaneously inspires and thwarts his writing. Duped into committing a crime for which he can never forgive himself, Dick Piston vows to pursue this case until he has penetrated the web of lies that is Larry Fingers.
Alfredo Centauri, The Infinite Centurion
On a hillside outside of Rome, 2000 years ago, Alfredo and his beloved Helga (not her real name), were attacked and mauled by a werewolf. Afflicted with the disease of lycanthropy, Alfredo found that by practicing Zen Buddhism he could stave off the lupine side-effects of the disease, while living a long and productive life. Helga, however, chose to follow a darker path, swayed by that master of lascivious seduction, Larry Fingers. Now Alfredo seeks to bring about Larry's downfall any way he can (within the bounds of Zen Roman ethics, of course).
Fantasy Dick and the Fantasy Chick
Dick Piston's adventures with Larry and the Werewolf inspire him to write an erotic detective thriller. His own frustrations, however, prevent him from consummating the film noir story. Fantasy Dick is Piston's self-image as it changes from week to week. The Fantasy Chick is his dream girl, ...until the day she walks into his life.
Cabal, manager of the Lakeview Hotel
The only thing that separates Cabal from any other hotel manager in the city is her overwhelmingly screwed up ethical priorities. Cabal would sacrifice her own mother to ensure the comfort of the hotel's 700 guests. And she would murder every one of those guests in their sleep to keep them from telling mom what was said about her.
Bilbo "Bill" Bola, bellhop
One of Cabal's hired goons. A thug with a capital "U".
Belladonna "Bella" Bola, bellhop
Another of Cabal's henchpersons. Bill's sister. Bella is smaller than her brother, but she's a trained assassin and arsonist, and he's just a thug.
A merrily festooned supra-natural being, Harlequin has a peculiar fascination with the events of the story. He lurks forever on the fringe of reality, cataloguing, studying. And occasionally, he uses his power of possession to step into a character's shoes. But why? Why??
The unfortunate Herr Biedermann has all the outward trappings of a werewolf, but none of their resistance to lead bullets. He dies in his first appearance, and is then forced to haunt his murderer in the afterlife. Still, he tries to maintain a cheerful disposition.
Herberto Hermosa, The Dead Man
Married Helga so he could get his green card. A ghost who comes back to haunt Dick Piston because he can, so why not?.
Todd Morton, Larry's Agent
His name means Death in two languages. But that's just a coincidence.
Marcus Benignus, the Second Centurion
Alfredo's love-slave, or so it would seem. But Marcus Benignus is the only man alive who knows the truth behind Alfredo's quick rise through the ranks of the Roman army. And it is a secret Alfredo will take with him to his bedroom.
Gaius Lucius, the missing Centurion
Attacked by the same lycanthrope who infected Alfredo Centauri, Gaius Lucius has been missing for two thousand years. Perhaps he died on that stormy Roman hillside. Perhaps a homicidal insanity overcame him in the same Zen monastery where Alfredo found inner peace. Perhaps he is an author of best-selling children's books. In any case: "If he's living in this century... Kill him."