Washington City Paper - Saturday, December 22nd, 2001

In the Landless Theatre Company's production of Jeff Goode's The Eight: Reindeer Monologues, Santa's horned helpers accuse the Christmas icon of sexual harassment, of being "a walking, talking, holly-jolly sex crime waiting to happen." Now, I'm thinking: What criminal defense attorney wouldn't take Santa's case? My client works all year freezing his tuchis off, Your Honor, to deliver toys—gratis—to all the good girls and boys. Who's got a beef with that? The naughty ones: the schoolyard bullies, the liars, the cheats. I present Exhibit A to the jury, Your Honor, and I quote: "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names." Witness credibility destroyed! Now, your honor, I call reindeer Vixen to the stand: Isn't it true, Ms. Vixen, that you stole Christmas toys from the workshop to support your heroin habit? That you suffered relapses Christmas Eve '95 and '97? That you are the mother of the Easter Bunny's "love child"? Take your seat in the jury/black box and try not to judge the fat man at 10 p.m. at the District of Columbia Arts Center, 2438 18th St. NW. (Elissa Silverman)