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In our continuing tradition of pointing out Christmas events in Philadelphia that would make your Grandma cram a bar of soap in your mouth, get ready for a whole new side of Santa.

"That man has been a walking, talking, holly-jolly sex-crime-waiting-to-happen for years!"

That's what the eight tiny reindeer have been saying about the big guy in the red suit for years. At least that's what you'll hear at the sardonically irreverent production of The Eight: Reindeer Monologues, hitting the Red Room at Society Hill Playhouse December 11, 12, and 13 this week with shows at 8 PM.

It's a black Christmas comedy for sure. Scandal erupts at the North Pole when one of Santa's eight tiny reindeer accuses him of sexual harassment. Seems some unsavory items were found while they were unpacking his fur-trimmed baggage - presents, intoxicating beverages, and leather straps.

The media descends upon the simple life at the North Pole in mass, as the other members of the sleigh team demand to have their say also. A woebegone tale of corruption and perversion emerges as each reindeer's shocking allegation comes to light. Everyone is implicated from the littlest elf to the tainted Saint himself.

If the holidays drive you to drink, why not hit the Red Room first? You'll be among friends. By the way, this is an 18+ show. Leave the kidlets at home. They might be traumatized beyond repair. The Society Hill Playhouse is located at 507 South 8th Street in Philadelphia. Click here to reserve your seat online.