Star-Telegram Staff Writer
DALLAS -- This year, boys and girls aren't the only ones asked who has been naughty or nice. In Jeff Goode's `The Eight: Reindeer Monologues,' that question is popped to The Man: Santa himself.
According to his beloved sleigh-pullers, the general consensus is that the jolly red one has been bad. Really bad.
In just more than an hour, each of the reindeer takes the stage solo to reveal its concerns about life, working conditions and Santa, who is accused of some rather naughty behavior. And Mrs. Claus? She's a crass old woman who drinks too much.
More importantly, though, Goode's well-crafted monologues give personalities to each reindeer. After hearing their stories, you'll be surprised that they still work with one another, even if for only one night a year.
As the group's leader, Dasher (Hal Bickers) is a testosterone-laden control-freak. On the other end of the scale, the sardonic Cupid (Keith Willard) is the requisite gay member who has his own opinions. Hollywood, (Jay Bingham) the reindeer formerly known as Prancer, is still bitter that animatronic reindeer were used in the movie version.
Blitzen (Ruth Mirelly Osuna ) is a feminist who wants to lead the strike against Santa. Comet (Eddie Lewandowski) supports Santa, only because the great polar red one saved him from a life of crime. Dancer (Lyz Dukes) is, as the name suggests, an accomplished hoofer. Donner (Kevin Nash), it turns out, is Rudolph's father. His account of the red-nosed ruminant's decline from that historical night to the looney bin is one of the show's best speeches.
The material is there, and the show is short, but still, it feels endless in places. Not all of Joe D. Russell's cast is up to the task. The strongest performances come from the female players -- especially the wonderfully expressive Dukes. With the exception of Nash, none of the male actors offers much in the way of insight. Willard takes a stereotype to new heights and leaves no room to care.
Rating: * * *½
`The Eight: Reindeer Monologues,' which is rated R for language and adult subjects, runs through Dec. 23 at Ozona Bar & Grill, 4615 Greenville Ave. in Dallas. Show times are 7 p.m. Wednesdays and Fridays through Sundays; 11 p.m. Thursdays. Tickets are $10. Runs one hour and 10 minutes with no intermission. Food and beverage service available. Call (214) 630-7722.
Mark Lowry, 817 390-7747
Send comments to markl@star-telegram.com
© 2000 Star-Telegram Texas Triangle - December 1999
Santa's Closet Creeks
Open in Rancorous Fantasy Stephen
R. Underwood
TRIANGLE Co-Editor
DALLAS - For many children here in America and many others around
the world, the Santa Claus myth is usually the first lie parents tell
their kids.
Oh, it begins innocently enough, alright. The pretty music; the sparkling
lights; the promise of a fat man in a red and white suit loaded with gifts,
landing on the house top with eight eager reindeer.
"He's checking his list twice to see who's been naughty or nice," the
saying goes. The parents, of course, hope the kids fall for it, or at
least the ones who aren't yet smart enough to sign onto the Internet and
check out the fallacy themselves.
So, it stands to reason, that one child, angered by the deception, would
grow up to craft a work challenging St. Nick's purity much in the same
way the sinless Jesus was challenged by the film The Last Temptation of
Christ.
In Jeff Goode's The Eight: Reindeer Monologues, Santa has his Temptation.
This show is not to be missed if thinking is something you still do during
the holidays.
In short, the North Pole mole is accused of sexually harassing the wily
and desirable Vixen (Julia Park). The only witness to the sex crime, a
red-nosed reindeer lumbering in a "catatonic" state, can't confirm or
deny the deluge. So, the ice melts and thickens, so to speak, as camps
corral in support and opposition to St. Nick.
On one side is Dasher (Hal Bickers), a working-class stiff ala Archie
Bunker, who could care less if the rumor is true; his only care is for
Christmas to come through.
Then there is the gay reindeer, Cupid (Keith Willard), who has just one
too many secrets on Santa and Mrs. Claus. "Oh Cupid, make me quiver with
your magic shaft of love," he remembers Mrs. Claus telling him during
an encounter.
On Vixen's side is the fiery Blitzen (Ruth Mirelly Osuana). For her part,
Osuana sells her assignment as an angry feminist offended by Santa's alleged
sex crime in the sinister shop. Osuana seems to assure us that she is
one you wouldn't want to run into in a dark alley. If that's her intention,
she succeeds.
As each of the other performances are both entertaining and notable, it's
all leading up to the big finale: the emergence of Vixen.
Park seems to be perfect for this part. She cascades on stage in a short
leather outfit. Her flowing blonde hair and sassy attitude remind us oh-so-much
of President Clinton's sex kitten, Ms. Monica Lewinsky.
"Did I know that Santa Claus was in a state of arousal that day when I
walked into the toy shop," she ponders aloud, wondering what defense lawyers
would ask at a trial. "Yes, I did!"
And now, so do we.
The Eight: Reindeer Monologues plays through Dec. 23 at the Ozona Bar
& Grill, 4615 Greenville Ave. Tickets: 214-630-7722.
-Stephen R. Underwood
Back row: Jay Bingham, Ruth Mirelly Osuna, Eddie Lewandowski, Kevin Nash,
Hal Bickers (seated), Julia Park as Vixen, Lyz Dukes (sitting) and Keith
Willard.