Lear's Labour's Lost

Lear's Labour's Lost
copyright © 2007 Jeff Goode
ACT I

SCENE 2 - The king's park.
Enter the PRINCESS OF FRANCE, Lords, and other Attendants
FIRST LORD
Here comes Boyet.
Enter BOYET
PRINCESS
Now, what admittance, lady?
BOYET
The King had notice of your fair approach;
Before I came. Marry, thus much I have learnt:
He rather means to lodge you in the field,
Like one that comes here to besiege his court,
Here comes King Lear.
Enter KING LEAR, GLOUCESTER, COSTARD, GONERIL, REGAN, CORDELIA
and Attendants, and with them, KENT, disguised
KING LEAR
Fair princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.
PRINCESS
'Fair' I give you back again; and 'welcome' I have not yet: the roof of this court is
too high to be yours; and welcome to the wide fields too base to be mine.
KING LEAR
Hear me, dear lady; I have sworn an oath.
PRINCESS
I hear your grace hath sworn out house-keeping:
'Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,
And sin to break it.
Handing him a document
Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my coming,
And suddenly resolve me in my suit.
KING LEAR
Madam, I will, if suddenly I may.
PRINCESS
You will the sooner, that I were away;
For you'll prove perjured if you make me stay.
KING LEAR
Reading
Madam, your father here doth intimate
The payment of a hundred thousand crowns;
To have his title live in Aquitaine;
I do protest I never heard of it;
And if you prove it, I'll repay it back
Or yield up Aquitaine.
PRINCESS
We arrest your word.
Boyet, you can produce acquittances?
BOYET
To-morrow you shall have a sight of them.
KING LEAR
It shall suffice me: at which interview
All liberal reason I will yield unto.
Meantime we shall express our darker purpose.
Give me the map there. Know that we have divided
In three our kingdom: and 'tis our fast intent
To shake all cares and business of our state;
Conferring them on younger strengths, while we
Unburthen'd pore on books. Belovèd Regan,
And you, our no less loving Princess Goneril,
We have this hour a constant will to publish
Our daughters' several dowers, that future strife
May be prevented now. The sons of Gloucester, Edgar and his brother,
Great rivals in our several daughters' love,
Long in our court have made their amorous sojourn,
And here are to be answer'd.
COSTARD chats aside with GLOUCESTER
COSTARD
Sir, I pray you, a word: what lady is that same?
GLOUCESTER
An heir of royal Lear, Regan is her name.
COSTARD
A gallant lady. Monsieur, fare you well.
Starts toward REGAN; returns
I beseech you a word: what is she in the white?
GLOUCESTER
She is the Princess Goneril.
COSTARD
She is a most sweet lady.
GLOUCESTER
Not unlike, sir, that may be.
COSTARD starts toward GONERIL; returns
COSTARD
Who are the rest?
GLOUCESTER
Peace, sirrah!
KENT chats aside with CORDELIA
KENT
Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
CORDELIA
Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
KENT
I know you did.
CORDELIA
How needless was it then to ask the question!
KENT
Your wit's too hot, it speeds too fast, 'twill tire.
CORDELIA
Not till it leave the rider in the mire.
KENT
Nay, then will I be gone.
KING LEAR
Tell me, my daughters,--
Which of you shall we say doth love us most?
That we our largest bounty may extend
Where nature doth with merit challenge.
Goneril, our eldest-born, speak first.
GONERIL
Sir, I love you more than words can wield the matter;
COSTARD
[Aside] O she hath wit to make an ill shape good,
And shape to win grace though she had no wit.
CORDELIA
[Aside] What shall Cordelia do? Love, and be silent.
LEAR
Of all these bounds, even from this line to this,
We make thee lady: to thee and thine issue
Be this perpetual.
What says our second daughter,
Our dearest Regan? Speak.
REGAN
Sir, I am made
Of the self-same metal that my sister is,
And find I am alone felicitate
In your dear highness' love.
COSTARD
[Aside] Her eye begets occasion for her wit;
So sweet and voluble is her discourse.
CORDELIA
[Aside] Then poor Cordelia!
And yet not so; since, I am sure, my love's
More richer than my tongue.
KING LEAR
To thee and thine hereditary ever
Remain this ample third of our fair kingdom.
COSTARD chats aside with GONERIL and REGAN
COSTARD
Ladies, I will commend you to mine own heart.
GONERIL
Pray you, do my commendations; I would be glad to see it.
COSTARD
I would you heard it groan.
REGAN
Is the fool sick?
COSTARD
Sick at the heart.
GONERIL
Alack, let it blood.
COSTARD
Would that do it good?
REGAN
My physic says 'ay.'
COSTARD
Will you prick't with your eye?
REGAN
No point, with my knife.
COSTARD
Now, God save thy life!
GONERIL
And yours from long living!
COSTARD
I cannot stay thanksgiving.
COSTARD chats aside with GLOUCESTER
What is her name in the cap?
GLOUCESTER
Jaquenetta, by good hap.
COSTARD
Is she wedded or no?
GLOUCESTER
To her will, sir, or so.
He waves to JAQUENETTA, who smiles and waves
back
KING LEAR
Now, our joy,
Although the last, not least; to whose young love
The bastard son of Gloucester, Edmund doth
Strive to be interess'd; what can you say to draw
A third more opulent than your sisters? Speak.
CORDELIA
Nothing, my lord.
KING LEAR
How, how, Cordelia! mend your speech a little,
Lest it may mar your fortunes.
CORDELIA
Good my lord,
You have begot me, bred me, loved me: I
Return those duties back as are right fit,
Sure I shall never wed if, like my sisters,
I love my father all.
KENT
[Aside] Woman of sovereign parts she is esteem'd;
Well fitted in arts, glorious in arms:
Nothing becomes her ill that she would well.
The only soil of her fair virtue's gloss,
If virtue's gloss will stain with any soil,
Is a sharp wit matched with too blunt a will;
COSTARD chats aside with JAQUENETTA
COSTARD
Away! the gentles are at their game, and we will to our recreation.
Exit COSTARD and JAQUENETTA
KING LEAR
Let it be so; thy truth, then, be thy dower:
Here I disclaim all my paternal care,
Propinquity and property of blood,
KENT
Good my liege,--
KING LEAR
Peace, knave!
Come not between the dragon and his wrath.
Call Edmund forth. Regan and Goneril,
With thy two divers dowers digest this third:
Let pride, which she calls plainness, marry her.
I do invest you jointly with my power,
Belovèd ones, be yours: which to confirm,
This coronet part betwixt you.
Giving the crown
KENT
Royal Lear,
Whom I have ever honour'd as my king,
KING LEAR
The bow is bent and drawn, make from the shaft.
KENT
Think'st thou that duty shall have dread to speak,
Thy youngest daughter does not love thee least;
KING LEAR
Knave, on thy life, no more.
KENT
My life I never held but as a pawn
To wage against thy enemies; nor fear to lose it,
Thy safety being the motive.
KING LEAR
Who are you?
Mine eyes are not o' the best: I'll tell you straight.
This is a dull sight. Are you not Kent?
KENT
The same,
Your servant Kent, my lord--
KING LEAR
Out of my sight!
KENT
See better, Lear; and let me still remain
KING LEAR
O, vassal! miscreant!
Laying his hand on his sword
KENT
Do:
Kill thy physician, and the fee bestow
Upon thy foul disease. Revoke thy doom;
Or, whilst I can vent clamour from my throat,
I'll tell thee thou dost evil.
KING LEAR
Take away this villain; shut him up.
GLOUCESTER
Come, you transgressing slave; away!
KENT
Fare thee well, king: sith thus thou wilt appear,
Freedom lives hence, and banishment is here.
To CORDELIA
The gods to their dear shelter take thee, maid,
Thus Kent, O princes, bids you all adieu;
He'll shape his old course in a country new.
Exit KENT, accompanied by GLOUCESTER
GONERIL
This Kent is like an envious sneaping frost,
That bites the first-born infants of the spring.
Enter EDMUND and EDGAR
EDMUND
Here's Edmund, noble lord. What is your will?
KING LEAR
My lord of Gloucester's son.
We first address towards you, who with your love
Hath rivall'd for our daughter: what, in the least,
Will you require in present dower with her,
Or cease your quest of love?
EDMUND
Why, nothing, majesty.
I crave no more than what your highness offer'd,
Nor will you tender less.
KING LEAR
Right noble Edmund, list,
When she was dear to us, we did hold her so;
But now her price is fall'n. Sir, there she stands:
If aught within that little seeming substance,
And nothing more, may fitly like your grace,
She's there, and she is yours.
Take her, or leave her?
EDMUND
Pardon me, royal sir;
Election makes not up on such conditions.
KING LEAR
Then leave her, sir; for, by the power that made me,
I tell you all her wealth.
PRINCESS
This is most strange,
That she, that even but now was your best object,
Commit a thing so monstrous, to dismantle
So many folds of favour.
CORDELIA
It is no vicious blot, murder, or foulness,
But even for want of that for which I am richer,
A still-soliciting eye, and such a tongue
As I am glad I have not, though not to have it
Hath lost me in your liking.
KING LEAR
Better thou
Hadst not been born than not to have pleased me better.
PRINCESS
Is it but this,--a tardiness in nature
Which often leaves the history unspoke
That it intends to do? My lord of Gloucester's son,
What say you to the lady? Will you have her?
She is herself a dowry.
EDMUND
Royal Lear,
Give but that portion which yourself proposed,
And here I take Cordelia by the hand,
Dowered so graciously.
KING LEAR
Nothing: I have sworn; I am firm.
EDMUND
I am sorry, then, you have so lost a father
That you must lose a husband.
KING LEAR
To PRINCESS OF FRANCE
For you, great France,
I would not from your love make such a stray,
To friend you where I hate; therefore beseech you
To avert your liking a more worthier way
Than on a wretch whom nature is ashamed
Almost to acknowledge hers.
PRINCESS
Fairest Cordelia, that art most rich, being poor;
Thee and thy virtues here I seize upon:
CORDELIA
I am thankful for it.
PRINCESS
What services canst thou do?
CORDELIA
I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a curious tale in telling it, and deliver a plain
message bluntly: that which ordinary men are fit for, I am qualified in; and the best of me is
diligence.
PRINCESS
Follow me; thou shalt serve me: if I like thee no worse after dinner, I will not part from thee
yet.
CORDELIA
I thank your worship.
PRINCESS
Thy dowerless daughter, king, thrown to my chance,
Is one of us, of ours, and our fair France:
Not all the Earl of Gloucester's bastard sons
Can buy this unprized precious maid of me.
Bid them farewell, Cordelia, though unkind:
Thou losest here, a better where to find.
KING LEAR
Thou hast her, France: let her be thine; for we
Have no such daughter, nor shall ever see
That face of hers again. Therefore be gone
Without our grace, our love, our benison.
Come, noble Edmund, come.
Dinner, ho, dinner! Where's my knave? my fool? Go you, and call my fool hither.
Enter GLOUCESTER with a letter, and COSTARD
GLOUCESTER
Where is the King's own person?
KING LEAR
Here, fellow: what wouldst?
GLOUCESTER
There's villainy abroad: this coxcomb will tell you more.
COSTARD
Sir, the contempts hereof are as touching me.
The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta. The manner of it is, I was
taken with the manner.
KING LEAR
In what manner?
COSTARD
In manner and form following, sir; all those three: I was seen with her in the
manor-house, sitting with her upon the form, and taken following her into the
park; which, put together, is in manner and form following.
GLOUCESTER
There did I see that low-spirited swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,--
COSTARD
With a wench.
GLOUCESTER
With a child of our grandmother Eve, a female; or, for thy more sweet
understanding, a woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on, have
brought to thee, to receive the meed of punishment,
For Jaquenetta,--so is the weaker vessel called which I apprehended with the
aforesaid swain,--I keep her as a vessel of the law's fury; and shall, at the least of
thy sweet notice, bring her to trial.
KING LEAR
But, sirrah, what say you to this?
COSTARD
Sir, I confess the wench.
KING LEAR
Did you hear the proclamation?
COSTARD
I do confess much of the hearing it but little of the marking of it.
KING LEAR
It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken with a wench.
COSTARD
I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.
KING LEAR
Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast a week with bran and water.
COSTARD
I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.
KING LEAR
And Lord of Gloucester shall be your keeper.
And go we, lords, to put in practise that
Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.
Exeunt KING LEAR, EDMUND, EDGAR, and Attendants
COSTARD
I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
GLOUCESTER
Sirrah, come on.
COSTARD
I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was taken with Jaquenetta, and
Jaquenetta is a true girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of prosperity!
Affliction may one day smile again; and till then, sit thee down, sorrow!
Exit GLOUCESTER, COSTARD and
JAQUENETTA
PRINCESS
Bid farewell to your sisters.
CORDELIA
The jewels of our father, with wash'd eyes
Cordelia leaves you: I know you what you are;
And like a sister am most loath to call
Your faults as they are named. Use well our father:
REGAN
Prescribe not us our duties.
PRINCESS
Come, my fair Cordelia.
Exeunt PRINCESS and CORDELIA
GONERIL
Sister, it is not a little I have to say of what most nearly appertains to us both. I think our
father will hence to-night.
REGAN
That's most certain, and with you; next month with us.
GONERIL
You see how full of changes his age is; the observation we have made of it hath not been
little: he always loved our sister most; and with what poor judgment he hath now cast her off
appears too grossly.
REGAN
Such unconstant starts are we like to have from him as this of Kent's banishment.
GONERIL
We must do something, and i' the heat.
Exeunt
End of Act I

Forth!

Act One // Act Two // Act Three // Act Four // Act Five