Lear's Labour's Lost
                                                         copyright © 2007 Jeff Goode

            ACT IV

            SCENE 5 - The heath. Before a hovel.
                                                                  Storm still
            KING LEAR 
               The magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set eye upon the pernicious
               and indubitate beggar Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say, Veni,
               vidi, vici; which to annothanize in the vulgar,--O base and obscure vulgar!-
               videlicet, He came, saw, and overcame: I am the king; for so stands the
               comparison: thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness. Shall I command
               thy love? I may: shall I enforce thy love? I could: shall I entreat thy love? I will.
               What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes; for tittles? titles; for thyself? me. Thus,
               expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot, my eyes on thy picture. and my
               heart on thy every part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry,
               LEAR.'
                  Enter KENT
            KENT
               Gracious my lord, hard by here is a hovel;
               Some friendship will it lend you 'gainst the tempest:
            KING LEAR
               My wits begin to turn.
               Come on, my boy: how dost, my boy? art cold?
               I am cold myself. Where is this straw, my fellow?
            COSTARD
               [Singing]
               He that has and a little tiny wit--
               With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,--
               Must make content with his fortunes fit,
               For the rain it raineth every day.
            KING LEAR
               True, my good boy. Come, bring us to this hovel. 
            KENT
               Here is the place, my lord; good my lord, enter: 
            KING LEAR
               Prithee, go in thyself: seek thine own ease: 
               This tempest will not give me leave to ponder 
               On things would hurt me more. But I'll go in. 
                                                                To COSTARD
               In, boy; go first. You houseless poverty,--
               Nay, get thee in. I'll pray, and then I'll sleep.
                                                             COSTARD goes in
            EDGAR
               [Within] Fathom and half, fathom and half! Poor Tom!
                                                    COSTARD runs out from the hovel 
            COSTARD
               Come not in here, nuncle, here's a spirit. Help me, help me!
            KENT
               Give me thy hand. Who's there? 
                  Enter EDGAR disguised as a mad man
            EDGAR
               Away! the foul fiend follows me! Through the sharp hawthorn blows the cold wind. Hum! go
               to thy cold bed, and warm thee.
            KING LEAR
               Hast thou given all to thy two daughters? And art thou come to this?
            EDGAR
               Who gives any thing to poor Tom? Bless thy five wits! Tom's a-cold,--O, do de, do de, do
               de. Bless thee from whirlwinds, star-blasting, and taking! Do poor Tom some charity, whom
               the foul fiend vexes: there could I have him now,--and there,--and there again, and there.
                                                                  Storm still
            KING LEAR
               Now, all the plagues that in the pendulous air 
               Hang fated o'er men's faults light on thy daughters!
            KENT
               He hath no daughters, sir.
            KING LEAR
               Death, traitor! nothing could have subdued nature 
               To such a lowness but his unkind daughters. 
            COSTARD
               This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen.
            EDGAR
               Take heed o' the foul fiend: Tom's a-cold.
                                                                  Storm still
            KING LEAR
               Why, thou wert better in thy grave than to answer with thy uncovered body this extremity of
               the skies. Is man no more than this? Consider him well. Thou art the thing itself:
               unaccommodated man is no more but such a poor bare, forked animal as thou art. Off, off,
               you lendings! come unbutton here.
                                                           Tearing off his clothes
            COSTARD
               Prithee, nuncle, be contented; 'tis a naughty night to swim in. Now a little fire in a wild field
               were like an old lecher's heart; a small spark, all the rest on's body cold. Look, here comes a
               walking fire.
                  Enter GLOUCESTER, with a torch and JAQUENETTA
            EDGAR
               This is the foul fiend Flibbertigibbet: 
               And, aroint thee, witch, aroint thee!
            KENT
               Who's there? What is't you seek?
            GLOUCESTER
               What are you there? Your names?
            EDGAR
               Poor Tom; that eats the swimming frog, the toad, the tadpole, the wall-newt and the water;
               Beware my follower. Peace, Smulkin; peace, thou fiend!
            JAQUENETTA 
               What, hath your grace no better company?
            EDGAR
               The prince of darkness is a gentleman: Modo he's call'd, and Mahu.
            GLOUCESTER
               Go in with me: my duty cannot suffer 
               To obey in all your daughters' hard commands: 
               Though their injunction be to bar my doors, 
               And let this tyrannous night take hold upon you, 
               Yet have I ventured to come seek you out, 
               And bring you where both fire and food is ready.
            KENT
               Good my lord, take his offer; go into the house.
            KING LEAR
               I'll talk a word with this same learnèd Theban. 
               What is your study?
            EDGAR
               How to prevent the fiend, and to kill vermin.
            KENT
               Importune him once more to go, my lord; 
               His wits begin to unsettle.
            GLOUCESTER
                                  Canst thou blame him?
                                                                  Storm still
               His daughters seek his death: 
               Thou say'st the king grows mad; I'll tell thee, friend,
               I am almost mad myself: I had a son,
               Now outlaw'd from my blood; he sought my wife,
               But lately, very late: I loved him, friend;
               No father his son dearer: truth to tell thee,
               The grief hath crazed my wits. 
               What a night's this!
            EDGAR
               Tom's a-cold.
            GLOUCESTER
               In, fellow, there, into the hovel: keep thee warm.
            KING LEAR
               I will keep still with my philosopher.
            KENT
               Good my lord, soothe him; let him take the fellow.
            GLOUCESTER
               Take him you on.
            KENT
               Sirrah, come on; go along with us.
            KING LEAR
               Come, good Athenian.
            GLOUCESTER
               No words, no words: hush.
            EDGAR
               His word was still,--Fie, foh, and fum, 
               I smell the blood of a British man. 
                                                            Exeunt into the hovel
            GLOUCESTER
               Here is better than the open air; take it thankfully. I will piece out the comfort with what
               addition I can: I will not be long from you.
            KENT
               All the power of his wits have given way to his impatience: the gods reward your kindness! 
                                                                    Exeunt

Forth!