THE PORTRAIT OF THE VIRGIN MARY FEEDING THE DINOSAURS BY JEFF GOODE IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL, AND MAY NOT BE PERFORMED, DOWNLOADED, OR RE-TRANSMITTED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S CONSENT.
Disclaimer
(enter Jeff, a small man with big glasses, dressed in a white lab coat, like a scientist.)

JEFF
Before we begin, I would like to say that God asked me to write this play.

Or rather - because that would be a lie - God knew about this play, I tried to keep in touch while I was working on it, and - while I realize this play will not please some of his servants - I have tried NOT to offend Our Lord nor Our Savior.

...And I think, from the response I've gotten, that I have succeeded as much as possible, in that respect.

(emphatically:) There is nothing in this play that will offend pious people and Christians. There is quite a bit in this play which will offend religious people and those who call themselves Christians.
Religion is an unfortunate side effect of God's worship.

(suddenly:) HERETICS! SINNERS! YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!
There, I've said it, so you don't have to. Now please leave quietly through the entrance doors at the back of the theatre.

(He exits.)
(He comes back.)

(sincerely:) I hope that the world becomes a better place shortly after the final curtain tonight. Or even, if possible, by the first intermission - because we've got a lot of work ahead of us.

JeffNet / P.V.M.F.D. NEXT