THE PORTRAIT OF THE VIRGIN MARY FEEDING THE DINOSAURS BY JEFF GOODE IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL, AND MAY NOT BE PERFORMED, DOWNLOADED, OR RE-TRANSMITTED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S CONSENT.
Movie Review
(a light snaps up on Leveaux, the clack of an old movie projector, the light flickers like a projector's beam.)

LEVEAUX
The Brontosaurus walked the earth between 165 million and 140 million BC, notice how its long neck enables it to reach grazeable foliage even at the tops of trees. The Brontosaurus' arch enemy was the Allosaurus, a bipedal carnivore, smaller than the Tyrannosaurus, but also faster and nimbler. As you can see, the Allosaurus can make vertical leaps of up to... that must have been 30 feet, wouldn't you say? And then, oh.
(The film Leveaux is watching has cut to a different scene. He waits.)
...That's Marshall, Will and Holly.
(The film returns to dinosaurs.)
The triceratops grew to between 18 and 25 feet in length. This specimen looks to be a young adult about 7 years old. Although it did not live at the same time as the Allosaurus, you can see how it might have used its horns for defense. Now, um...
(The film returns to Will and Holly. Leveaux waits)
...Oh, if you look over Holly's shoulder you can see a pteranodon. Not a pterodactyl. Notice how it glides and doesn't fly, as we will see later with the archaeopteryx.

...uh, well, let's fast forward past the scene with the Sleestax.

(He fast forwards the tape via remote control. The clack of the projector speeds up, the light flickers faster.)
Scientists believed dinosaurs were relatively unintelligent, but you can see by the way they repeatedly thwart the evil Sleestax that they were really quite cunning.
(growing impatient, he tries to use the remote control to make the film go faster)
I wanted to get to the scene where the little girl rides the tricerat---
(sound of the film breaking. The light flicker a moment longer, but then turn into a solid square beam on Leveaux)
Well, this is embarrassing.
(pause, he looks about nervously.)
Lights please.
(lights snap on, but a fuse blows and everything goes black)
(pause)
...Jesus Christ!


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