(he is sitting crosslegged on the floor, or behind a desk, red body paint, wearing only a loincloth of some kind)Well, maybe not, but it got your attention.
Let's play a game.
(he takes out a hotdog, and a doughnut, puts the hotdog through the doughnut)What are you thinking?
Aha! I thought so.
(he takes out a Barbie doll.)Let's do another one.
(He hums striptease music as he removes her clothing.)
(When Barbie is naked, he says:)Now, be honest, are you disappointed?
(He quickly repeats the striptease with a Ken doll.)You gotta admit you were hoping for something more... specific.
Hey, what does this make you think of?
(He puts Ken and Barbie in the missionary position)And this?
(puts them in 69 position)Shall I make slurping sounds?
(slurps)And which is naughtier? This or this?
(He puts Ken and Barbie in doggie position, first with Barbie on top, then switching so Ken is on top.)That's strange...
(he indicates the dolls' neutral plastic pubes)...because they're both the same!
You see, it's all in the mind.
F-U-C-K, I wonder what that spells. Gotcha.
A friend of mine once said, A man who sins in his heart has already committed that sin. That makes my job so much easier. Let's try another.
(he stands up. He is dressed only in a loin cloth with a red phallic prosthesis attached. The phallus is large enough to be unreal, realistic enough to be obscene.)What part of my anatomy were you thinking about? No, you don't have to tell me. We all know.
(pulses his pelvis a bit)Now just suppose... I was to invite one of you up onto the stage. Just try to imagine this. And suppose you came up here and stood in front of me, about there. And I placed my hand on your crotch. And gave it a little squeeze. Nothing special, just a gentle little "hi, how are you" kind of tickle. And just suppose while I'm standing here with my hand on your, you know. My thumb gently brushing against your pubic hair. That you were to become slightly aroused. We're just supposing now. I know that none of you would be turned on by this at all. But just suppose you were just slightly aroused. And if at that moment of arousal, I were to ask you. "Are you slightly aroused?" Would you lie and say you weren't?
I wonder how many of you thought about lying. I wonder how many are lying to yourself right now. You see, it's that easy. That's all I'm asking. Is that so wrong? I'm not asking you to kill Jews or anything.
That can come later.
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