| (lights up on Phil and Jack, not at the Cafe Saurus, they
may have top hats or canes) |
|
| Jack. | Hi, I'm Jack and this is Phil, and we thought, it's such a
shame to end the act on kind of a down note, so we thought we'd come out and entertain you a
bit. Phil? |
| Phil. | This is a number from our nightclub act, which is not in the
show, so we thought we'd share it with you now. Maestro? |
|
| (music starts, they tap dance) |
|
| (then they vamp while they talk) |
|
| Jack. | Dinosaur goes into a confessional. He says, "Bless me
father, for I have sinned. It's been 100 million years since my last confession" |
| Phil. | Priest says, "100 million years! What have you been doing
for 100 million years?" |
| Jack. | Dinosaur says, "Waiting for someone to build a
church!" |
|
| (they tap dance) |
|
| (they vamp) |
|
| Jack. | Pterodactyl walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Long time
no see" |
| Phil. | Pterodactyl says, "Yeah, I just flew in from the
Coast" |
| Jack. | Bartender says, "You look tired." |
| Phil. | Pterodactyl says, "Just my arms." |
|
| (they tap dance, something a bit fancier) |
|
| (they vamp) |
|
| Phil. | Say, Jack, why are we wearing these stupid
suits? |
|
| (Jack stops dancing, music stops) |
|
| Jack. | I thought you wanted to wear 'em. |
| Phil. | I thought you wanted to wear 'em. |
|
| (they look at themselves, they are wearing Godzilla suits
with little green vests and top hats) |
|
| Jack. | Well, let's take 'em off. |
| Phil. | Okay. |
|
| (they take off their little green vests, and throw them
away.) |
|
| (music resumes and they start dancing
again.) |
|
| Phil. | Well, folks, thanks for joining us. We hope you'll be back
for the second act. We've got a lot of fun in store for you. |
| Jack. | We'll take another look at the high fashion world of
Renaissance modelling. And we're gonna go behind the scenes on Phil's new talk
show. |
| Phil. | My special guest tonight will be The Virgin
Mary. |
| Jack. | We've got some excitement ahead of us with
Mephistopheles still out there. |
| Phil. | And in the second act, somebody dies! We won't say who,
but it's not who you think. |
| Jack. | Also the talking T. Rex, the P.V.M. dancers, and more
from someone who we haven't really seen much of in the first act. |
| Phil. | That's true. In fact, why don't we bring him out here right
now? |
| Jack. | Ladies and Gentlemen... You know him, you love
him... |
| Phil. | And he loves you... |
| Jack. | The Lamb of God, The Son of Man... |
| Phil. | The Hostess with the Mostess, The Superstar from
Galilee... |
| Jack. | Ladies and Gentlemen, Jesus of Nazareth! |
|
| (they applaud, Jesus enters, he tap dances with them. He's
better than they are.) |
|
| (they vamp) |
|
| Phil. | Will you be performing one of your numbers for us
tonight, Jesus? |
| Jesus. | I thought I'd do something from the book of
Matthew. |
| Jack. | Number one in England this week. |
| Phil. | All this and more after intermission. |
|
| (the three of them perform a 180 degree line rotation and
dance off together a la "Off to See the Wizard".) |
|
|
| (music fades) |
|
| (sound of two or three large switches being thrown and the
house lights come on, also a subtly annoying electronic buzz - like the hum often generated by
large incandescents - which continues throughout the intermission.) |
|
| (end of Act One) |
