THE PORTRAIT OF THE VIRGIN MARY FEEDING THE DINOSAURS BY JEFF
GOODE IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL, AND MAY NOT BE PERFORMED,
DOWNLOADED, OR RE-TRANSMITTED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S CONSENT.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrrrRrrRrRRRITA
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrRRrRRRRAIDER
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrRRrRRRRHODA
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrRRrRRRRHINO
(lights up on Rex doing his morning exercises, he paces about as he
speaks)
REX
rrrrrrrrrrrRita rrrrrrrrrrRaider rrrrrrrrrrrRhoda rrrrrrrrrrRhino
Ritaraiderrhodarhinoritaraiderrhodarhino
Rita... Raider... Rode a... Rhino
(his growl turns into a trill:)
rrrrrrrrdrdrdRDRDRDRDR! LA la la LAA!!
(another blinding flash of light. Rex stares after at it
quizzically.)
A Star in the Western Sky
(sound of running footsteps approaching)
(enter, running, a very small dinosaur, possibly a hand puppet, its lips
move when it speaks. It has Jack's voice.)
JACK PUPPET
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS SAURUS REX!
(the small dinosaur violently prostrates itself before
Rex.)
REX
Get up.
JACK PUPPET
(rising:) Yes, your most majestic Highness!
REX
Please, don't call me that, you know I don't like it.
JACK PUPPET
Yes, your Eminence of the Great Egg.
REX
It undermines everything we've worked for when you treat me like some messianic entity.
JACK PUPPET
Yes, your Grand Eloquence of Truth.
REX
Stop it.
JACK PUPPET
Yes, your mumblemumblemumble.
REX
(threatening:) rrrrrrRrRrrRR...
(offstage, the distant sound of a chanting
mob)
What is that?
JACK PUPPET
Sire, your adoring thralls wish to know if you will be addressing them this morning.
REX
Oh, no.
JACK PUPPET
They await you in the courtyard.
REX
I wish I didn't live in a castle!
JACK PUPPET
If you didn't live in a castle, your followers would raise one about you as you slept, your
Magnificence.
REX
Well, ask them to go home.
JACK PUPPET
They desire your wisdom to guide them.
REX
Tell them... they must find True Wisdom within themselves. I cannot give it to them.
JACK PUPPET
Precisely, your Divinity. And they long to hear it from your lips.
REX
I wish I could start over.
JACK PUPPET
But, your Magnanimous Plentitude, what would the corporate sponsors say?
REX
(bellows:) I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE CORPORATE SPONSORS!
JACK PUPPET
(cowering:) Forgive my ignorance, your Benevolence!
REX
Do you remember when we started out, what we were trying to do?
JACK PUPPET
Not exactly. But it sounded good on paper.
REX
Yes, it did.
(suddenly:) Tell them the concert is cancelled.
JACK PUPPET
But---
(a blinding flash of light.)
(they both look at it.)
REX
What is that?
JACK PUPPET
A new star in the western sky. Shining over Bethlehem.
REX
I've never seen anything like it.
JACK PUPPET
It could be a sign. It is just like the miraculous star which shone at your birth, sire.
REX
There was not a miraculous star at my birth.
JACK PUPPET
Please, sire, we need our legends.
REX
Bethlehem, you say?
JACK PUPPET
A distant city in a distant land.
REX
I want to go there.
JACK PUPPET
On your next tour?
REX
Now. How long would it take me to get there?
JACK PUPPET
65 million years.
REX
I hope I'm not too late.
JACK PUPPET
I'll pack you a lunch.
