| Phil. | Yes! |
| Jack. | No! |
| Phil. | Yes! |
| Jack. | No! |
| Phil. | Yes! |
| Jack. | No, it's not. |
| Phil. | Yes, it is! |
| Jack. | No, it's not! |
| Phil. | How can you say "no" when you haven't tried it? |
| Jack. | How do you know I haven't tried it? |
| Phil. | I asked you first. |
| Jack. | I think my fingers are too big. |
| Phil. | Let me try. |
| Jack. | I'm not done with it. |
| Phil. | Did you shake it? |
| Jack. | You're not supposed to shake it. |
| Phil. | Are you sure? |
| (Jack shakes the can of
mace) |
| Phil. | Let me see. |
| (Phil takes the can) |
| Jack. | Does it twist? |
| Phil. | Is this what you were pushing on? |
| Jack. | Squeeze it. |
| Phil. | I got it! I got it! ...No. |
| Jack. | What's it say? |
| Phil. | I can't tell what you're supposed to do. |
| Jack. | Maybe it's empty. |
| Phil. | There's a little hole. |
| Jack. | Blow on it. |
| Phil. | You think? |
| Jack. | Here let me try. |
| (Jack blows into the little hole. He shakes the
can.) |
| Phil. | Let me see. |
| (Phil grabs the can, bangs it on the
table.) |
| Jack. | I hate these child proof things. |
| Phil. | It looks like it's coming. |
| Jack. | Don't point it at me! |
| (Jack flinches, but when nothing happens he peers
directly into the business end of the can of mace.) |
| Jack. | Wait, I think I see what's wrong. |
| (Jack touches the can and it goes off in his
face.) |
| Jack. | WOOO! |
| (Jack spins around, clutching his
eyes.) |
| Phil. | Is it working? |
| (Jack runs offstage, clutching his
eyes.)
(Phil stares after Jack for a long time.)
(he looks at the can of mace.)
(he looks at Jack)
(he glances at the can, then looks at Jack)
(he looks at the can.)
(he reaches for the can. BLACKOUT) |
| Phil. | WOOO! |
| (sound of a garage door
closing) |
