THE PORTRAIT OF THE VIRGIN MARY FEEDING THE DINOSAURS BY JEFF
GOODE IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL, AND MAY NOT BE PERFORMED,
DOWNLOADED, OR RE-TRANSMITTED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S CONSENT.
(Sound of thunderous footsteps approaching.)
Bethlehem
(Lights up on Rex.)
(Rex looks down at something near his feet)
REX
Excuse me.
(sound of a woman screaming in terror as Rex's eyes follow the tiny
invisible woman's flight offstage.)
(he sees another one.)
Excuse me, sir.
(sound of a man screaming "Oh no no no" as he also runs
offstage)
(to someone else:) I mean you no harm.
(screams of a few more people running away.)
WOULD YOU STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME!!?!!
(terrified screams of thirty or forty people running
away.)
Look, I realize I am a stranger here. But I'm not going to hurt you. Right now, all I want is a
place to stay, an inn maybe. I've come a long, long way, and I'm very tired, and very, very
hungry.
(more screams of panicked citizenry.)
What did I say??
(he stumbles)
I can't believe this is happening. I'm going to starve to death on the streets of a major metropolis.
(he stumbles again. and collapses to the ground with a deafening
WHOOMP.)
Somebody help me...
(Isolated spot up on Jesus.)
JESUS
I'll save you!
REX
I haven't eaten in 65 million years.
JESUS
My mom makes the best bagels.
