THE PORTRAIT OF THE VIRGIN MARY FEEDING THE DINOSAURS BY JEFF GOODE IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL, AND MAY NOT BE PERFORMED, DOWNLOADED, OR RE-TRANSMITTED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S CONSENT.
(Rex and Jesus walking along.)

REX
...and then they made me King and I had to get out of the business.

JESUS
Do you ever regret what you've done?

REX
I regret what I haven't done.
(A woman rushes in. She accosts Jesus, and frantically pleads with him in a foreign babble.)
The Woman taken in Adultery

JESUS
(to Rex:) Just keep walking.
(Rex stands looking down at the woman.)

REX
What's wrong with her?

JESUS
She's committed adultery, come on, let's go.
(sound of an angry mob.)
(An angry mob enters and seizes the woman. They speak in a foreign babble. They are all dressed as nuns or policemen.)

REX
What are they doing to her?

JESUS
They have to stone her to death.

REX
What!!

JESUS
It's tradition.

REX
That's terrible!

JESUS
I don't make the rules.

REX
We have to stop them.

JESUS
We can't stop them, it's the custom. Don't they kill sinners where you come from?

REX
Where I come from they kill them and eat their flesh.

JESUS
Eat their flesh??? That's terrible!

REX
I've heard it's quite enjoyable.

JESUS
Ugh!

REX
Tasty.

JESUS
That's disgusting!

REX
They're sinners, Jesus.

JESUS
You can't kill people just because-- Just because--
(Pause.)

JESUS
(to the mob:) Excuse me, brothers...
(The mob stops babbling. They all turn and look at him.)
(The nuns grumble and shout in a foreign language, and they hurl a hail of stones at Jesus. Then they go back to flogging the woman.)

REX
Let me try.
(to the mob:) Excuse me, brothers...
(The mob stops babbling. They all turn to look off right, and up.)
(Their jaws drop. They drop their stones.)

JESUS
Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone.
(The mob looks at Jesus. They look at Rex.)

(Rex ROARS!)

(The terrified mob screams and flees off stage.)

(The woman stares at Rex. She looks at Jesus. She looks at Rex. She screams and flees offstage.)


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