(Slideshow: The Complete History of Art. A series of slides on the center screen, beginning with Byzantine religious depictions. One after another, slides of every painting ever created. The slide show continues throughout the rest of the play, gradually picking up speed.)
(Lisa enters in a spotlight, dressed as a dancer. She walks to the microphone. Music begins.)
(snap blackout. ...low, thunderous sound, like a distant explosion: POOM.)
(POOM - a gigantic silhouette of a crucifix falls across the entire stage.)
(POOM - the silhouette is replaced by a slightly smaller gigantic shadow.)
(POOM - and another shadow.)
(One explosion after another at one second intervals as the crucifix becomes smaller each time. When it is small enough to fit on a slide screen... POOM - it becomes a slide of Jesus on a cross. The slide also shrinks with each explosion until it is a one foot tall image.)
(POOM - the slide goes out and the lights come up on the one-foot-tall crucifix, borne aloft by dancers in mourning. They carry it to center stage and affix it to the stage floor.)
(They dance away from the crucifix. The low explosions continue as part of the rhythm of the underscoring.)
(A vaudeville theme joins the underscoring, and Jack and Phil scamper across in a follow spot, dancing furiously with top hats and canes.)
(Lights up on Rex standing near the large crucifix, just like in Mary's dream.)
(Mary bursts in.)
(She goes to the crucifix and takes Jesus off of it. He is like a baby in her arms.)(to Rex:) I hate you.
(Mephistopheles appears in a cloud of fumes. He has the baby Jesus in his arms.)
(Jack and Phil's follow spot brightens suddenly.)
Phil. | Quick, tell a joke. |
Jack. | Pterodactyl walks into a bar. |
Phil. | You did that one. |
Jack. | You said tell a joke. |
Phil. | But you did that one. |
(They continue to dance.)
(Lisa and Jesus finish a duet. Jesus is playing guitar.)
("Applause" sign flashes.)
(Jesus strums the first chord of Ave Maria.)
(Mary rushes in and grabs the guitar out of his hands. She smashes it against the floor.)
Jesus | Mom--! |
Mary | Go to your room! |
Jesus | But, Mom--- |
Mary | Don't argue with me. Go to your room, and don't come out until the Age of Enlightenment! |
(Jesus starts to leave, but then he returns and says to her:) | |
Jesus. | No. |
(POOM.) | |
Mary. | Please. |
(Lights switch, casting Jesus into shadow. Mephistopheles is revealed, dressed as a surgeon, Mary on the ground at his feet.) | |
Meph. | Are you family? |
(Mary looks up.) | |
Meph. | Jesus has slipped into a coma. He may never come out of it. |
(A group of nuns seize Jesus and drag him to a corner of the stage where they kick him and beat him with truncheons, just like the Rodney King videotape.) |
(Lights up on Mary and Rex near the wooden cross, again. Mary holds the baby Jesus in her arms.)
(Rex eats the cross.)
(Pause. Everything is very still, except for Jack and Phil, still dancing.)
(The slideshow is a silent blur of romanticist landscapes rushing toward impressionism.)
(After a while, Phil gives up:)
Phil. | I think we should start over. |
Jack. | You and me? |
Phil. | All of us. |
Jack. | From the beginning? |
Phil. | No, not from the beginning. From the top of the scene. |
Jack. | But we're almost finished. |
Phil. | But we're not getting anywhere. |
Jack. | And you think if we start again? |
Phil. | Do you have a better idea? |
Jack. | No, do you? |
Phil. | No! That's why I said it! |
Jack. | That's why? |
Phil. | Yes. |
Jack. | Oh. I thought you were just getting tired. |
Phil. | Well, I am getting tired. |
Jack. | Well, then why do you want to start over? We'll probably just have to do it again. |
Phil. | Because. |
Jack. | I think we should skip to the end if you're getting tired. There's no point in starting over. |
Phil. | We can't skip to the end. |
Jack. | Why not? |
Phil. | Because we can't. |
Jack. | I'm sorry, I'm going to my ending pose. You do what you want to do. |
(Jack goes to his position for the final tableau and freezes in a pose.) | |
Phil. | You can't do this! Nobody knows why you're doing this. Stop it. |
(Jack continues to pose.) | |
Look, they're all looking at you. Nobody knows what you're doing. | |
(pause) | |
If you think I'm gonna pose with you, you're wrong... |
(Lights up on Rex and Mary, as before.)
(Mephistopheles appears between them drinking a beer.)
(Jesus appears to one side. Jesus voice is heard, but his lips don't move.)
(He takes out a gun.)
(Meph grabs the baby Jesus out of Mary's arms and holds it up like a prize turkey.)
(Meph points the gun at Rex's chest.)Bang.
(A gigantic tyrannosaurus skeleton falls from the sky and crashes to the stage behind Rex and Mary.)
(With an audible pop, the slideshow reaches cubism, and the images leap off the screen. Modern art flashes about the stage, splattering abstract images across every surface.)
(Mephistopheles tucks the baby under his arm like a football. Jesus tries to block, but Meph evades his tackle and dashes off into hell.)
(Lisa sings more. Dancers enter. Jesus decides to join them in their dance.)
(fading out:)What does a dinosaur think of his reflection in the sand? (so quiet that she cannot be heard:)What does Jesus Christ think of his reflection in a man? |
(Dancers dress Jesus like Rembrandt. He waves goodbye and exits with them.) |
What does a dinosaur think?
What does a dinosaur think? ...etc. |
(Mary rises from her posture of mourning and dances a solo.)
(A pedestal rises out of the floor with a bowl of Cheerios. Mary takes two big handfuls and flings them into the air. And as they fall back to the ground, the sky is filled with Cheerios, like a snowstorm. Rex is amazed.)
(Mary scoops up the bowl of Cheerios, and offers it to Rex.)
(Rafael's voice over a megaphone: HOLD!)
(music stops. Mary and Rex freeze.)
(screen rises and lights snap up on Rafael in his studio, at the easel.)
(Rafael puts away his megaphone and starts painting, and as he paints, a backdrop of painted ribbons streams up from a point at the back of the stage, simultaneously forming a beautiful sunset, and a pastoral landscape behind the image of Mary and Rex. Beautiful music. The lights also change, and the other characters - dancers, Jack and Phil - find their places in the composition. Meph and Jesus flank the image, each cradling a baby Jesus in his arms.) |
(eventually, he trails off.) |
...perfect.
(When the stage picture is complete, the lights fade very very slowly. There is no movement except for Rafael, who continues to paint.)
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