Sex with Someone
by Jeff Goode
copyright © 2008
(LIGHTS UP ON: SOMEONE and FRIEND.)
SOMEONE. Have you ever had sex with someone without their knowing it?
SOMEONE. You have?
FRIEND. Doing it right now.
FRIEND. You heard me.
SOMEONE. Youre having sex right now?
SOMEONE. With someone without their knowing.
FRIEND. Has no idea.
FRIEND. Cant say.
SOMEONE. Why not?
FRIEND. Because if I told you, it wouldnt be without your knowing.
FRIEND. Oops. Never mind.
SOMEONE. You think its me?
SOMEONE. You think youre having sex with me--
SOMEONE. Right now--
SOMEONE. Without my knowing it.
FRIEND. I deny the allegation!
SOMEONE. But thats impossible.
FRIEND. I know! Its ridiculous.
SOMEONE. Were obviously not having sex.
FRIEND. Not even close.
SOMEONE. Youre just standing there.
FRIEND. Exactly. How could I possibly be doing something that we both know is completely out of the question?
FRIEND. Youre not even my type.
SOMEONE. Whats that supposed to mean?
FRIEND. Im not the least bit attracted to you.
SOMEONE. What does that have to do with anything?
FRIEND. Theres no chemistry. We could never be a couple.
SOMEONE. This isnt about being a couple.
FRIEND. So youre okay with this if it's a one time thing?
SOMEONE. Look, you cant have sex with me without my knowing.
FRIEND. No means no. I got it.
SOMEONE. No, because its impossible.
FRIEND. Never gonna happen.
SOMEONE. Its impossible to do.
FRIEND. Oh, you mean its physically impossible.
SOMEONE. So thats settled.
(FRIEND leers at SOMEONE.)
(SOMEONE has a female orgasm.)
SOMEONE. What the hell?
FRIEND. Youre welcome.
(BLACKOUT)© 2008 Jeff Goode - THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR