Episode... Pants!(1)

by Jeff Goode
copyright © 2003

 

          (Enter CRAZY WORM GUY.)

          CRAZY WORM
Hi, I'm Crazy Worm Guy!

          (Beat. For audience response.)

Hi.

I come from the land of tendrils.

Very squirmy.

          (Sudden unmotivated beat change. Now CWG is depressed.)

I wish I had a friend.

          (Enter MR. ANGRY PANTS.)

          MR. ANGRY
They call me... Mr. Angry!! ...Pants!!

          CRAZY WORM
Hello, Mr. Angry Pants.

          MR. ANGRY
DON'T CALL ME THAT!!

          CRAZY WORM
Would you like to do something fun?

          MR. ANGRY
No!!

          CRAZY WORM
...with me?

          MR. ANGRY
No!!!

          (Uncomfortable silence.)

          CRAZY WORM
Even if I promise--

          MR. ANGRY
NOOOOO!!!

          (Awkward pause. Suddenly...)

          CRAZY WORM
Ooh, look! A celestial phenomenon!

          (A CELESTIAL PHENOMENON passes through, and exits.)

          CRAZY WORM
That was fun.

          MR. ANGRY
For you maybe!!!

...The End...

          (Or perhaps an ANNOUNCER says...)

          ANNOUNCER
Tune in next time, when Mr. Angry Pants says...

          MR. ANGRY
DON'T CALL ME THAT!!

          (CRAZY WORM GUY smiles at the audience.)

          CRAZY WORM
Hi.

          (BLACKOUT)

© 2003 Jeff Goode - "TIGER-TIGER YUM-YUM" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR