Episode... Sing!(2)

by Jeff Goode
copyright © 2003

 

           "Meanwhile, several weeks later..."

           (Enter CRAZY WORM GUY.)

           CRAZY WORM
Hi, I'm Crazy Worm Guy!

           (Waits for the audience to respond.)

Hi.

           (Suddenly stricken with terror...)

Uh oh, someone's coming. Everybody, hide!

           (He makes the audience hide behind a bush. Enter MR. ANGRY PANTS.)

           MR. ANGRY
They call me... Mr. Angry Pants!!

           (CRAZY WORM bursts out of hiding.)

           CRAZY WORM
Hello, Mr. Angry Pants!

           MR. ANGRY
DON'T CALL ME THAT!!

           (CRAZY WORM is afraid to say anything now. Weird silence.)

           CRAZY WORM
It's awful quiet.

           MR. ANGRY
Yes. It's awful!

           CRAZY WORM
Say, you know what we need?

           MR. ANGRY
No!

           CRAZY WORM
Music!

           MR. ANGRY
No!!!

           CRAZY WORM
Do you want to go with me to the Place Where the Music Is and see if our theme song is ready yet?

           MR. ANGRY
Noooo!!

           (They start walking.)

           CRAZY WORM
Oh, look! A celestial phenomenon!

           (A CELESTIAL PHENOMENON passes through)

           CRAZY WORM
I never get tired of that.

           MR. ANGRY
I do!

           CRAZY WORM
Here we are! The Place Where the Music Is.

           MR. ANGRY
This looks just like the other place. Where the music wasn’t.

           CRAZY WORM
Ah, but how does it sound?

(They hearken. There is MUSIC. It's coming from the MAN BEHIND THE PIANO.)

           CRAZY WORM
Hello, Mr. Music Person Man!

           MUSIC PERSON MAN
Hello, Crazy Worm Guy. Who's your male companion?

           MR. ANGRY
They call me... Mr. Angry Pants!!

           MUSIC PERSON MAN
Hello, Mr. Angry Pants!

           MR. ANGRY
DON'T CALL ME THAT!!

           CRAZY WORM
Are you about finished with our theme song? It's been awful quiet.

           MR. ANGRY
Just awful!

           MUSIC PERSON MAN
Almost. Here's what I've got so far...
           (sings:)

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Yum-Yum
Tiger, Tiger, Yum-Yum-Yum
He's so Cool that he's on Fi-grrr.
Tiger, Tiger, so much fun!

Come with the Yum, gonna Run like a Bun... ny.
Rapid as a Rabbit gonna Grab it by the Tongue. (Ew!)

Go with the Flow! Give an Inch, take a Mi-grrr.
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Yum! Yum! Yum!!

(After the song there is an awkward silence, as CRAZY WORM doesn't know quite how to put this...)

           CRAZY WORM
That's nice, but....

           MUSIC PERSON MAN
But what?

           (CRAZY WORM hates to say it, but...)

           CRAZY WORM
We don't have a tiger.

           (Silence.)

           MR. ANGRY
You better get one!!

...The End...

           (Or perhaps an ANNOUNCER says...)

           ANNOUNCER
Tune in next time, when Crazy Worm Guy says...

           CRAZY WORM
Hi.

           (Silence.)

           MR. ANGRY
What did you call me?!

           (BLACKOUT)

© 2003 Jeff Goode - "TIGER-TIGER YUM-YUM" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR