Redneck Radio
by Jeff Goode
Narrator
This is an actual conversation that took place between U.S. Representative Howard Coble (Republican - North Carolina) and an irate radio listener.
(LIGHTS UP on a RADIO TALK SHOW HOST and CONGRESSMAN HOWARD COBLE.)
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
Goooooood morning, North Carolina! This is WKKK - Radio Redneck, the oooonly all-conservative talk-back radio station in the entire 12 block area surrounding this station!
With us today, our very own U.S. Congressperson - Senator Howard "the Howitzer" Coble - Republican, North Carolina.
Senator?
HOWARD COBLE
Actually, I'm a member of the House of Representatives. But you got the state right.
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
All righty! Well, the sparks are flying already, so let's open up those phone lines. Y'ello, caller?
CALL-IN RADIO LISTENER
Slim, I got a question for the Congressperson.
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
All right, go ahead, caller. What's your question?
CALL-IN RADIO LISTENER
Well, here it is. I think we oughta round up all them Arab Americans. And send 'em to internment camps for the duration of the war on terrorism. Just like we did with them Japanese in World War II.
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
Good question! Senator?
HOWARD COBLE
Well, now, Slim, I have to disagree. In fact, I could not disagree more. You've got to understand, there is a big, BIG difference between that situation then and the one we find ourselves in today.
The camps during World War II served the nation's security needs because a few Japanese American might have been intent on harming America.
Just as some Arab Americans are probably intent on doing us harm today.
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
So wouldn't rounding up the Arab Americans serve the national security needs now?
HOWARD COBLE
No, no, not at all. It was a very, very cruel thing to do to Japanese Americans at the time. But I believe the decision was the right one for those times. Besides removing a possible security threat, the government sought to protect Japanese Americans from harm by other Americans who were seething about Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor.
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
So you're saying Roosevelt did the right thing in putting the Japanese in internment camps?
HOWARD COBLE
No, not at all. I'm trying to show that Roosevelt made a decision he believed was in the best interest of national security, based on the circumstances at the time and the information available. And I have to say, I agree.
But today we can certainly look back and see the damage that was caused because of this decision. We all know that this was in fact the wrong decision and an action that should never be repeated.
Even though at the time, it was probably the right decision. And really the only decision that could have been made under those circumstances.
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
But aren't we under those same circumstances today?
HOWARD COBLE
Not at all. Yes, we are at war with a race of people who may be intent on harming us. And yes, our fellow Americans will probably harm some of them. And, yes, some sort of protective separation would solve both of those problems. But we should never consider that as an option.
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
Well, now, Senator, it sounds to me like you're trying to tell us something you're trying awful hard not to tell us, but if it was up to you, you'd just come right out and say it.
HOWARD COBLE
Not at all.
RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
You sure about that?
(COBLE sits there quietly seething.)
HOWARD COBLE
Damn you, Trent Lott.
(LIGHTS SLOWLY FADE.)
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