"I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it."

     ---Dwight D. Eisenhower


"Why, of course, the people don't want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

     ---Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

I began this collection during the 2002 runup to the War in Iraq because I was sick and tired of hearing draft dodgers and cowards like George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, et.al. rushing the nation into an idiotic war by implying that they had more courage than all of the people who wanted to fight terrorism by fighting actual terrorists.

Bush's "cut and run" strategy was, and still is, an embarrassment to our nation, but the attempt to paint his detractors as the ones who were doing the running was simply disgusting.

Throughout history, starting a war has always been regarded as the supreme act of cowardice and it's time we stood up and stopped treating Bush like he had any more character than a 3rd grade bully. War is for pussies. Period.

     ---Jeff Goode

War Is For Pussies is an anthology of light-hearted skits and sketches about the inevitable war with evil-doers which is scheduled for March of 2003.

Someday, we'll be able to look back at the totally unavoidable horrors and atrocities which will accompany this fun-filled bloodbath and laugh and laugh and laugh. (Just like we laugh about the Holocaust right now!)

But that day may not come for another 5 or 6 years. ...And, really, why wait?

---a quote from Hunter S. Thompson, courtesy of Alex Gibney's new doc commemorating his life. First published on ESPN online, one day after 9/11. Courtesy of Salon:
The towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble, along with all hopes for Peace in Our Time, in the United States or any other country. Make no mistake about it: We are At War now -- with somebody -- and we will stay At War with that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives ... It will be a Religious War, a sort of Christian Jihad, fueled by religious hatred and led by merciless fanatics on both sides. It will be guerrilla warfare on a global scale, with no front lines and no identifiable enemy. We are going to punish somebody for this attack, but just who or what will be blown to smithereens for it is hard to say. Maybe Afghanistan, maybe Pakistan or Iraq, or possibly all three at once. Who knows? Not even the Generals in what remains of the Pentagon or the New York papers calling for WAR seem to know who did it or where to look for them. This is going to be a very expensive war, and Victory is not guaranteed -- for anyone, and certainly not for anyone as baffled as George W. Bush. All he knows is that his father started the war a long time ago, and that he, the goofy child-President, has been chosen by Fate and the global Oil industry to finish it Now. He will declare a National Security Emergency and clamp down Hard on Everybody, no matter where they live or why. If the guilty won't hold up their hands and confess, he and the Generals will ferret them out by force.

    "These are very critical times," Colonel Cathcart asserted petulantly from a far corner of the office, paying no attention to Colonel Korn.
    "Very critical times indeed," Colonel Korn agreed with a placid nod. "We've just had a change of command from above, and we can't afford a situation that might put us in a bad light with either General Scheisskoph or General Peckem. Isn't that what you mean, Colonel?"
    "Hasn't he got any patriotism?"
    "Won't you fight for your country?" Colonel Korn demanded, emulating Colonel Cathcart's harsh self-righteous tone. "Won't you give up your life for Colonel Cathcart and me?"
    Yossarian tensed with alert astonishment when he heard Colonel Korn's concluding words. "What's that?" he exclaimed. "What have you and Colonel Cathcart got to do with my country? You're not the same."
    "How can you separate us?" Colonel Korn inquired with ironical tranquility.
    "That's right," Colonel Cathcart cried emphatically. "You're either for us or against us. There's no two ways about it."
    "I'm afraid he's got you," added Colonel Korn. "You're either for us or against your country. It's as simple as that."
    "Oh no, Colonel. I don't buy that."
    Colonel Korn was unruffled. "Neither do I, frankly, but everyone else will. So there you are."
  ---from Catch-22 by Joseph Heller 1955

Most of the scripts in this collection were originally developed and performed by the author at No Shame Theatre in Los Angeles.
"I don't see suicide bombers. I see people with the freedom to go out and buy guns and bombs and blow themselves up on a street corner that never could have done that under Saddam."

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