FAVORITE NEW SHOW
At two in the morning, I was about to go to sleep when
I turned the
channel to MTV and caught "Undressed." And it was a marathon.
Like a midnight trip to the icebox to tear a little dark meat off the turkey, I couldn't help, but pick
it to the bone.
Now I'm not sure
what this show is supposed to be about. I wasn't quite sure if the show took
place at a private high school, a college or somewhere in between. Kids seemed to live all over the
place - including a house with a hot tub.
The basic plots seemed to involve cute girls having sex. I can't think of a better
premise. This is the trashy kinda show "Titans" was supposed to be. But
"Undressed" doesn't seem to care much for a
plot. There was like three different stories going between the episodes. Each
story dealt with a bunch of horny kids (did I mention some of them were hot chicks?) trying to get
it on with each other. Did I mention the
hot chicks were in underwear at any excuse? One girl would say, "Hey,
I'm doing laundry." And her roomie would start stripping down to save on quarters. It was
so beautiful. And then there was a whole lesbian
sub-plot with three really good looking young girls fighting for each others
love. By the way, at some point in their crisis, all three girls were in their underwear.
I guess that's why they call it "Undressed."
I'm not sure
who is who in the show. The credits are splashed on the screen without being next to a head
There are so many characters in each episode. I
couldn't keep up or figure out who is who. But did I care? They don't seem to
give the time to develop the stories like "Melrose Place." A person would barely say a
line before they'd cut away. It's like some
guy was at home with a remote control flipping through the three storylines
trying to catch the girls in their underwear. Maybe that's why I liked the show. I can relate to that
channel flipping guy. Maybe it's me
editing the show?
Halfway through the batch the lesbians
disappeared. Where did the sappho sisters go? I was nearly heartbroken. Then they introduced an
equally cute girl who was abstaining from sex, but I knew
she wanted to get it on - do the nasty - cause why else would she be on the
Sure it would be nice if MTV would show some of those music videos without
covering them in shout outs to my baby's mama. But
after those crappy "Real World" and "Road Rules"
marathons, MTV finally gave me a fluffy treat worth
"Undressed" is more fun than "Melrose Place" -
the episode where Traci Lords took off the dress by the pool. That was a TV
history moment there.
By the way, Traci, if you're reading this column, e-mail me at
want to treat you right. And I want you to treat me bad. And we'll watch lots of
"Undressed." And we'll play a little game where every time someone strips on the
show, we'll put on an article of clothing. The
first person to pass out from heat frustration loses. The winner gets an Eskimo
pie! Sound like fun, Traci?